Confused....

yes, I am confused.....I don't know what do I want/have to do or where I should be????
I feel that way beacuse lately new things have been poping up - new work, valgus linnas project, renting or buying a apartment and Bibleschool. That last one is most confusing....

After our last cellgroup I was walking home in the dark, alone and thinking about Anette's words - if you don't have a peace and joy about it then it's not wright thing to do.....I have joy, because when I think me going Bibleschool and actually learning and living there - I smile/laugh.But peace - NO.Oh and ofcourse pressure from outside or inside of me - I dont know.

Sometimes I think why I cant pray loud, only in my head - quietly - ...stupid hah???and I'm not free about talking God's miracles etc, why I'm too quiet instead of being bold....nad i have been thinking maybe if I'll go to Bibleschool it will change and problably then I have more courage to be more active in church work....because in my heart is desire to do something in church but I can't figure it out what it should be??? It cant be worship because I cant sing, actually there's nothing for me....church doesnt need a nurse???wright??? Or maybe acting....no it cant be....courage is needed for acting what I dont have.

Anyway I think that this Valgus linnas project will be great....I love babies and everything, but still I want to be involved more in church work....Jajajaja I am confused but I know that God have a great plan for my life and He will find/show me something to do in church....Maybe this Valgus linnas is my thing, maybe there's nothing for me in church becuase I'm needed in this project.Let's see what happend.Next sunday I meet a married couple who are foundres of this project....

Maybe it seems like complaining but that's the way I feel....I dont want to complain.Sorry.

Be blessed and see you on sunday!!!!